A Caregiver’s Guide to Navigating the Holidays

As a former caregiver, I know firsthand how the holidays can bring a mix of joy, stress, and longing for traditions that may no longer feel possible—but I also learned that with a little flexibility and self-compassion, the season can still hold moments of connection and peace.

Whether you look at the next few weeks as a season, a reason, or a moment to believe in my hope is that you can take something I have learned from my time caring for my parents as a way to make tomorrow a little better than today. 

Here are my top 5 tips for making the holidays more manageable and meaningful as a caregiver.

Traditions

They have to start somewhere. Start a new tradition focusing on what you can do as a family rather than what you cannot. 

For as long as I can remember, my parents hosted Christmas Day. The first Christmas after my dad passed was daunting. Where would we celebrate? How would we handle the elephant in the room—especially in a new setting, since it could no longer be at my parents’ house? To ease the heaviness, we decided to start a new tradition: wearing silly sweaters or holiday pajamas to our Christmas celebration. This simple change has not only lifted the mood, helping us cope with the absence of loved ones at the table but it’s also given us something to look forward to. Now, instead of dreading the day, we’re excited to see everyone’s creative and festive outfits.

Self-Care

Self-care doesn’t have to mean an expensive day at the spa or hours carved out for relaxation. Sometimes, self-care is as simple as caring for yourself enough to set boundaries and prioritize your well-being. It’s saying “no” to that extra holiday dinner when your schedule is already packed, or declining the last-minute request to whip up a dish for the potluck when you’re feeling stretched thin. It’s recognizing your limits and giving yourself permission to let go of guilt or the pressure to do it all. True self-care is about listening to what your mind and body need—whether that’s a quiet evening at home, delegating tasks, or choosing rest over obligation.

By practicing self-care in these small but meaningful ways, you create space to show up for the holidays with more energy and joy. Sometimes, self-care is sitting in your minivan and getting a Diet Coke alone. My personal favorite form of self-care. 

Here are a few “outside-the-box” ideas to consider the next time someone suggests practicing self-care:

• Have a “Dance It Out” Session
  • Channel your inner Meredith Grey and Cristina Yang by blasting your favorite music and dancing like no one’s watching. Shake off stress and let your body move freely.
• Rediscover a Childhood Joy
  • Tap into your inner child by revisiting something you loved as a kid—build with Legos, color in a coloring book, or even construct a blanket fort. Let yourself play and enjoy carefree fun.
• Learn to Say “No”
  • Protect your time and energy by saying “no” to something on your schedule. Whether it’s declining a meeting, skipping an event, or rescheduling a task, give yourself permission to prioritize your needs.

Communicate with others

It's easy to forget that we observe and adapt to the changes in our loved ones more frequently than others who aren't in our situation. Change is difficult for everyone, especially for those who may be unaware, in denial, or lack a true understanding of the disease and the challenges your family faces daily.

As much as we’d like to believe that people fully understand what we’re going through, that’s unfortunately not the case.

Providing them with a simple overview can help not only those who haven’t been around for a while but also give everyone a chance to process the situation.

What may feel like routine sights, sounds, and smells to us might be overwhelming for others. Their emotions can often be seen in their facial expressions the moment they walk through the door.

I wrote a similar group Facebook Message to out-of-town cousins prior to a family wedding a  year into my dad's journey with a neurodegenerative diagnosis:

Hey everyone!

Looking forward to seeing you soon! It’s been a while since you’ve seen my dad, so I wanted to give you a quick update to help you feel comfortable and prepared for conversations:

• Mobility: Dad now uses a motorized wheelchair full-time. He’s pretty skilled with it but might need help with sharp turns now and then. He’s open to assistance, so feel free to offer if needed. He’s saving energy for a special dance at the reception—get ready for some fun wheelies!
• Speech: His speech is a little slurred, and it takes him longer to form sentences. Please be patient—he’s eager to catch up and hear all about what’s new with you, so don’t hesitate to chat and share stories.
• Emotions: Big events like this can bring out strong emotions as he reflects on memories and changes. If he gets emotional, don’t worry—it’s not because of anything you’ve done!

Feel free to ask any questions or just enjoy the weekend without feeling obligated to help. That said, we always appreciate your support. Thanks so much for your love and understanding—see you soon!

Decision Making

Avoid making decisions based on fear, obligation, or guilt.

As you navigate choices this holiday season, ask yourself:

• Do I truly want to do this?
• Am I acting out of fear or guilt?
• Will this decision bring me peace and fulfillment?
• Am I doing this because it aligns with my values and priorities?
• Am I sacrificing my well-being unnecessarily?
• Would I still choose this if no one else’s opinion mattered?

Notice how each question focuses on you—using "I" instead of "they," "we," "she," or "him"?

As caregivers, it’s so easy to prioritize the needs of our loved ones over our own. But when we do this, we risk neglecting our own well-being and even losing a sense of who we are.

I firmly believe—and will always advocate—that the best way to care for a patient or loved one is to also care for those providing the care.

And that includes you! Remember: taking care of yourself is just as important as caring for others.

Feelings

Your feelings are valid, no matter what they are. Whether you're feeling joy, sadness, anger, confusion, or anything in between, your emotions are a natural response to your experiences. You don’t need to justify or dismiss them—they are an important part of your journey and deserve to be acknowledged and understood.

The holiday season can bring its own unique challenges for caregivers, stirring emotions that range from joy to stress, from nostalgia to grief. But whether you approach the coming weeks as a season to endure, a reason to celebrate, or simply a moment to believe in hope, my wish for you is this: that you take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and hold on to something that lights your path forward.

Caregiving is hard, and the holidays often magnify those challenges. But in those moments of reflection or struggle, I hope something I’ve shared here helps you make tomorrow a little lighter, a little brighter, or just a little better than today. Because sometimes, that’s more than enough.

Take care of yourself—you deserve it.

With hope,
Sabrina